Luan Loud, The Not So Private Detectidian
by The Loud Author
Summary: When Luan finds herself in a slump, she decides to change things up by helping others cheer up in another way, by being the worlds first sort of private comedian detective, with the goal of helping as many people as she can and cheer them up at the same time. Can she do it? Will Lincoln and his friends be able to help much? Or will it be one big flop?
1. Slumped & Star Struck

**Authors Note: Hello all, welcome to my 3rd ever fanfiction, let me tell you all that this is going to be my first effort at a light hearted story, because I feel as if the archive is a bit weighted with a lot of the opposite type. Though I'll have you all know that I am only getting the first chapter out there, depending on how it is received after I come back from the one shot I am making will dictate whether or not this is continued. There is also no schedule for updates. This is also sort of a parody, more so of the mystery detective genre than anything. I hope you all enjoy and take care!**

* * *

"Y'know, it's harder than it sounds to have nine sisters and a brother… Harder keeping them happy, that is," one cheerful tone spoke from the Loud House. Spring had begun early. Most of the Loud family was still asleep, but up early and happy as ever was the bucktoothed Luan.

"But that just is a challenge to me! It gets me ready to deal with anyone who can't get that frown to spin upside down," Luan hummed. Being a decently known comedian, writing jokes mentally or preparing her acts for whatever gig she could gain, she unfortunately had been in a sort of slump lately. Nobody needed a comedian of her specific odd quality, or at least none needed her special skills recently. Three months was a long time to go without being on a stage, she barely let it bother her though.

"Aaand… There we go!" Luan hummed. With the final few rolls of duct tape set up and stretched across several parts of the staircase, she was ready to start the day off the way she knew best, with a friendly relatively safe prank. She happily trod off to the kitchen to get her early breakfast. Lately, she spent her mornings looking for possible gigs on the internet via her laptop while simultaneously having breakfast. For only being fourteen, she had amassed a good following online on her personal webpage and channel on ShareCast.

"Nothing again… Maybe Spring's out to spring some boredom on me… or make me push up daisies," Luan thought to herself. Once again, no requests from anybody or offers that would need her comedic touch. She loved making people happy. That was enough to her. But this was also how she got most of her money. The comedic Loud did get a decent amount from household chores just like all of her siblings, but the extra helped a lot.

"Then again, maybe I should stop checking at early morning and look at high noon," Luan said in the best western accent she could muster, before she took a bite out of her toast. She suddenly heard a loud scream, with a lot of tumbling noises and a thud.

"Let's see who I got to start off my day today!" she hopped up and went to the living room where she saw one of her little sisters wrapped up, with duct tape all over her body.

"Luan!" Lola hollered in frustration while flopping around a little, unable to break out of the tape trap she had fell into when coming downstairs. Luan picked up her sister's tiara from the floor and put it on her blonde head.

"Well hey there, Princess Lola, or should I say queen tape worm," Luan greeted her third youngest sister, one of a pair of twins that fought often. Lola growled, not shying away from showing her teeth, including the gaps where she had lost her front teeth, a trait that she shared with her twin Lana. They just never seemed to want to grow back either, oddly.

"Let… me… out… now," Lola demanded, not enjoying being the victim of any form of prank. Luan instead took a picture with a camera. It immediately spat out the photograph, and Luan pocketed it happily. She had started taking pictures of the aftermath of pranks to remember them better, since it was harder to lug around a video camera constantly.

"Good morning to you, too!" Luan got the scissors. One small clip of a side piece of the tape, and it was very easy for the anger prone little girl to break out of. Once all the tape was off, Lola huffed in frustration and stomped off to get her own breakfast. It took all of her willpower to not physically assault Luan, and perhaps all of her bones if her anger made her strong enough.

"What was all the noise about?" groaned a young boy from the top of the staircase. Lincoln emerged in his orange pajamas, with his stuffed rabbit Bun-bun underneath his arm. He did his best to try and keep the peace in his family, but he was unprepared to witness chaos start too early. Normally the Loud house would be quiet until at least everyone was awake.

"Mornin' Linc! Don't worry about it," Luan reassured her little brother, while still standing on a dozen rolls of wasted tape over the floor. Lincoln rubbed his eye, brushing it aside as he wandered back to his room to sleep a little while longer. The Loud house could wait another ten minutes before he dealt with whatever more chaos arose.

"Guess he isn't the early bird today, because he sure didn't try to get the tape worm," the comedian laughed to herself.

"Luan! Your computer's beeping," Lola called from the kitchen. Luan's heart jumped for joy and that smile on her face seemingly grew even bigger that it showed her teeth, specifically her buckteeth and her braces. That light chimed beeping was her webpage getting an alert.

"Yes! Today my luck gets better," Luan darted right for the kitchen, bumping Lola out of her seat and yanking her laptop over. Lola could only glare as she just moved over to another chair at the table with her cereal and milk. There was a bright red flashing icon practically begging to be clicked. Upon doing so, a message opened on screen.

 _ **"Dear Luan or Miss Loud. I'm contacting you because I need someone who can make even the most depressed person laugh. A friend of mine told me you made everyone at his comedy club come down with a case of laugh fever. My son is very depressed. We're at the special care unit of the Royal Woods, Pediatric Hospital, downtown. I would be very thankful if you came to help. We're in Room 222. – from Parlezz Robinson."**_

"This is… a lot more personal than I expected," Luan could only say while reading it. She normally performed for crowds, rather than a single individual. Not that it would stop her.

"It's still a bummer either way."

"The Pediatric Hospital's special care unit? What's that for?"

"Those in need of supervision while not needing constant care. Usually those suffering from either A, some form of cancer or another, or B, those awaiting organ transplants."

"Huh? When'd you all get there?!" Luan squealed in surprise, seeing three of her sisters behind her and all looking variously ready for the day. Luna, the aspiring rocker in her long purple skull shirt, Leni, the second oldest with the lowest IQ, wearing a white nightgown, and family genius Lisa, in a green shirt and brown pants, fully ready for today and not wanting to waste a minute when there was science to be done and experiments to be tested.

"Right when you clicked on the message," Leni answered. Whether or not that was from her detest of lying or just her low IQ was beyond the comedic girl. The three various aged siblings went to get their food.

"So are you going to accept it?" Lisa asked as she climbed into her seat at the children's table, one division of the two tables that made the dining room table, along with the adult's table. The younger side of the family sat at one. And the older side sat at another. Nearly all of the Loud family was nosey. Luan herself was in the same boat as them, not able to help but stick her head into others' business.

"Of course! Especially if it helps a sick boy," Luan accepted. She knew how medically important it was to not give up, or it would take longer to get better, whatever the poor child was ailing from, being depressed and unwilling to fight whatever ailed him would only hurt him more.

"That's really sweet of you, Luan! Do you want one of us to come with you?" Leni offered.

"I'll be fine on my own, thanks…" Luan shook her head, "I think most of my props aren't legally allowed in hospitals, anyway."

"If only we could make them illegal in our house," Lola murmured in frustration, still upset from the prank she had fallen victim to. The twin placed her empty bowl in the sink after finishing her breakfast, before she left the kitchen, her older sister not even acknowledging the comment.

"I'm gonna go get ready so I can catch the first bus I can," Luan hopped up, leaving with her laptop in hand to get right up to hers and Lunas room.

"…should one of us tell her that the first bus doesn't come for another hour and a half?" Luna asked, the nearest bus stop being a half mile away from their home.

"No!" Lola's shriek from the living room was enough to get the other woken family members to continue their morning routine to avoid her rage filled wrath.

* * *

It took Luan a short time to get dressed in her favorite plaid skirt and white shirt with a fake flower on the front. She had a small bag hanging on her side full of various items. She believed the few she acquired would be allowed in the hospital without any complaints.

"Oh Linc, you're up! And good morning, Lily," Luan greeted her only brother with a bright smile, seeing him in an orange short sleeved shirt and blue jeans. His messy white hair looked slightly less unkempt than it usually did.

"Goo-goo!" Lily cooed while in Lincoln's arms. As the youngest Loud, she was still only just a baby, she was as bright and bubbly as usual. She began to giggle uncontrollably when she was tickled under her chin by Luan.

"She escaped her crib and snuck into my room… the fifth time this week," Lincoln responded. Not that he minded losing an extra few minutes of sleep because of their baby sister. Everyone took care of Lily, but lately she had learned a tiny bit from her older siblings and became rather sneaky. Somehow being able to open her own crib now, and get around without making so much as a peep.

"Aw, there's no need to be a 'baby' about it, Lincoln. It just means she loves you a lot," Luan pun-assured. Lincoln groaned, before he put his baby sister down, letting her waddle off to wherever she wanted since she was fed and changed. She was about as ready for today as any of the other Loud family members.

"Where are you going? Did you finally get a gig?" Lincoln asked as he and his sister went downstairs. He had a great relationship with her. She always did her best to cheer him up and make him laugh, ever since he was first born.

"Not exactly… I'm going to the Pediatric Hospital to cheer up someone's son… I think they're foreign though, his dads name is Parlezz," Luan rambled slightly while the two walked together. However, when that name was brought up, she saw her brother's eyes shimmer with a little glee of amazement.

"Parlezz… As in Parlezz Robinson? THE Parlezz Robinson?" Lincoln practically begged. To calm him down his comedic sister squirted him in the face with some water from her fake flower.

"Easy boy… You know Parlezz?" Luan questioned. None of the other family members this morning made any comment about the name, and they read the very message with her. Lincoln wiped the water off of his face, before he reached into his pocket and pulled out his cellphone.

"This is Parlezz Robinson! He's a detective known across the country for being the best, but also for being hard to get ahold of!" he put the phone in his older sibling's hand, after a quick search. Luan saw a picture of a man with a gradient of light and dark blonde hair, in a black sweater, and a brown leather jacket being held over his shoulder.

"He looks really… scary," Luan confessed. Her brother certainly understood why, but it did not stop him from being positively radiant about the mere thought of meeting the detective.

"He's just bad with photos. I think… Luan, can I please come with you? Clyde and I, and my girlfr… err, another friend, are huge fans of his. We all saw a documentary about him and kind of got hooked when we were all hanging out," Lincoln caught himself mid sentence. Luan looked down to his feet to see that tapping with his left foot he always did when nervous. Another detail of his Luan noted was that whenever he was nervous, he would grip his left upper arm with his right hand, just at the upper most part of his arm and under his shoulder. That was her baby bunny of a brother, or so the family liked to joke. She always had this small thing for detail, her brain was full of mental notes for not only jokes, or minute details of her family, but also her immediate surroundings.

"Okay, Linc! I'll let you come with me… Buuuut, I want you to call your buddies to come with us. How about that, bro?" Luan offered, willing to take her little brother to see this supposedly famous detective, since he was eager to.

"Wh-what? But… I don't know. They'd probably just get mad at me," Lincoln tried to brush it off like he wanted to hog the star's attention. The two stood on their front porch.

"Why would they get mad? Clyde would be happy and I bet your other friend would be, too… Orrrr… Is this because this other friend's that girl, the one that likes hitting your arm a lot whenever you go out on Wednesdays?" Luan replied. That seemed to stun her brother quite hard and gain a nervous sweat.

"Wh-what are you talking about Luan?" Lincoln tried to play it off.

"Well, I mean you've had the same bruise on the same arm for a few months now, and you have long black hair on you every night after school," Luan replied.

"Come on," Lincoln countered, "Lucy has long black hair, too."

"Yeah, but it's not THAT long, that and hers is a bit darker… So my little brother has a girlfriend~!" Luan sung teasingly, just increasing his embarrassment. Lincoln did not want any of his family to know about his relationship, because they would constantly try to get involved and most likely do more harm than good. Only Lori knew, so did her boyfriend, whom also happened to coincidentally be the big brother of the secret girlfriend's, Bobby, thankfully they did seldom any harm to that relationship.

"Jeez… You've got me, Luan. You really figured that out just from a bunch of small things?" Lincoln asked, rather impressed. It almost reminded him of the very detective he was a fan of.

"Yep! That and I stalked you once when you went to see a movie you said you hated," Luan hummed. Somehow her little brother expected that kind of response.

"Okay, I'll say it. I have a girlfriend. I only went to that movie because she wanted to see it, it wasn't that bad though." Lincoln sighed. He wished that she had just said that she stalked him on one of their dates, instead of beating around the bush to tease him and see him flustered. "Alright, Luan… I'll call them to meet up with us. You win,"

"You have a girlfriend?!" A loud voice hollered. Lana, Lola's twin, stood by the open doorway.

"Uhh… No," Lincoln coughed in reply to Lola's twin. That smile with a few of her front teeth missing did little to show her large abundance of glee. Clearly the mechanically gifted Loud wanted to run off to tell everyone right away.

"Then what were you talking about?" Lana tilted her red-capped head. She had overheard the two because she was coming outside to see if there were any decent mud puddles, that was when she caught them.

"We were just talking about a new type of milkshake called the girlfriend… Come on, Lincoln! We better 'shake' a leg and get going before we miss the bus!" Luan grabbed Lincolns hand and rushed off. Lana watched them leave. She began scratching her head in confusion, not sure what to make of that.

"Wow… you're good at making things up on the spot," Lincoln complimented his comedian sibling while the two headed for the bus stop, she was about as good at making up lies as he was at making plans on up the fly. The young boy knew to call up his closest friend and girlfriend to meet up with them. Luan laughed in reply.

"Who said I made that up?"


	2. Little Details & Love

A few hours passed until the bus they took went downtown. Royal Woods was rather nice during the early morning hours. The two siblings were more than happy to enjoy it together. There were only three others on board the almost-empty bus, which consisted of a businessman, an elderly woman, and a random golden retriever which they assumed to belong to the bus driver.

"Oh, there they are," Lincoln said as the bus came to a stop, he and Luan saw two people climb on board, both the same age as him.

"Sup dude!" Clyde McBride greeted his practical brother of a best friend.

"Oh look. Its lame-o and metal maw," Ronnie Anne Santiago stood beside him and scoffed. A well known bully at their school, her relationship with Lincoln was, to an extent, complex.

"Hi! Glad you could hitch a 'ride'," Luan greeted them happily, not paying the insult any mind.

"She knows about us, Ronnie Anne… Uh, sorry…" Lincoln stood up and apologized sheepishly. That harsh expression and aura the Santiago girl had worn off faster than they could expect.

"Seriously, Lincoln? Out of everyone you could have told about us, you started with the second dumbest of your family?" Ronnie Anne tilted her head, assuming that her secret boyfriend had started telling people about their relationship without her permission.

"Pfft! Don't be silly. He didn't say a word… I stalked you when you went to see that movie, all my circuits," Luan cut in with a laugh, not even inquiring about the lists order. The Santiago girl did not know what to say to that. Hearing it certainly made her annoyed.

"I'd be lying if I said I was surprised," Clyde coughed. He too knew of their relationship, but being a best friend made that inevitable anyhow, so Lincoln had opted into telling him right away.

"Whatever… but if I catch you following us on another date, I'm ripping out your braces and turning them into handcuffs," Ronnie Anne threatened. Luan pulled out her favorite disguise, a Groucho Marx set of glasses with bushy eyebrows and a large nose.

"Oh, don't be so mad about it. Just em'brace' it."

"Ugggggh!" Ronnie Anne snarled, she ripped the disguise off of her face and chucked it out the bus window.

"Joke's on us both. I have a lot more of those," Luan clapped, impressed by her throwing arm, she rivaled Lynn's pitching capabilities when angry.

"Al-alright, alright calm down, Ronnie Anne. Luan can keep a secret, relax," Lincoln reassured, rubbing his girlfriend's back. She groaned and punched him in the arm, adding onto the very bruise that was one of several giveaways about their relationship to begin with, before she took her seat beside him. The bus had rather long seats along the windows.

"I'll stay over here… Thanks," Clyde said. He would stay on the other side of Luan for his own safety. Things went quiet from there as the bus continued driving along.

"...Do you think I can at least have a kiss?" Lincoln asked, breaking the silence. They have not had any real interaction for the last few days, or at least on an intimate level. Unless being dunked into a garbage can on pizza day counted as romantic.

"Fine, Lame-o... I was about to ask for one, anyhow." Ronnie Anne agreed, with a slight blush. She was grateful for her boyfriend inviting her to meet Parlezz Robinson in the flesh, but she was annoyed that Luan and Clyde were going to watch, even if they were pretending not to. Lincoln had a bright smile on his bucktoothed face as he wrapped his arms around her, she gladly returned the embrace. The two began to exchange a long, passionate kiss.

"Wow… Linc's really good at that," Luan could only whisper, taking a picture with her cellphone. The display she was witnessing was cute to her.

"Lucky…" Clyde sighed, resting his head in his hands. At one point he was head over heels for Lori, the oldest Loud sibling, but cruel reality set in that it was impossible. She already had Bobby as her boyfriend, Clyde no longer could bring his heart to lust for Lori once he began to befriend the Santiago boy as well, the two got along great.

"Here. This should break the awkwardness!" Luan smiled as she pulled out an air horn from her bag. Clyde shook his head in terror, the look in his eyes practically begging her not to do it. Ronnie Anne hated three things a lot, being touched without warning, having others take pity on her, and most of all, pranks. The loving couple screamed when Luan blew the air horn with all of her might, without even a half second of hesitation. A loud noise rocked the bus. The other passengers instantly snapped out of their half asleep daze in surprise. The dog meanwhile, just lay on his back, uncaring for the noise.

"Ough… I think I bit my tongue," Lincoln moaned in pain, holding his mouth. Ronnie Anne got off the floor, before she cracked her knuckles with the pure hateful look on her face. Luan's brace-clad smile unchanged.

"Come on now. There's no need to be so full of hot 'air'," Luan got tackled by Ronnie Anne. To the comedian this was nothing unusual. Lynn wrestled their entire family nearly at random to practice lucha libre, she could withstand the Santiago girls assault.

"This is going to be a long ride," Lincoln looked to his best friend, not wanting to get involved. If anything it probably would help them all, if Ronnie Anne took out her building rage on something.

"What? Sorry, I can't hear anything. My ears are ringing," Clyde claimed. Luan was laughing Loudly as if Ronnie Anne's violent reaction was just what she wanted. The two boys did not try to intervene. They would settle down themselves, or at least by the time they got to the hospital. The trio all wanted to meet Parlezz in person, after all.

* * *

After a short time, the bus arrived to the pediatric hospital, and the four disembarked. Luan had a few bruises on her now, but the same bright smile on her face remained. The satisfied Ronnie Anne walked beside Lincoln, while holding his hand. There was a white television studio van parked nearby, for the news station Channel 44.

"Hey! You can't kick us out like this!"

The four could see security and a few nurses throwing out a camerawoman and a reporter dressed up in quite fancy attire. The two landed on their sides, dropping their camera. The comedic Loud caught it before it could hit the ground, saving it from damage.

"Hm? Oh, hey. It's pictures of Parlezz," Luan commented upon viewing some of the camera's footage. It appeared to be of Parlezz, his expression being one of passive hatred, the photograph showing him standing in a hallway, trying to get a cup of coffee. The photo appeared to have been taken only minutes ago. The rest of the pictures were of him walking away and them trying to follow.

"I guess the media knows a star's hanging around Royal Woods," Clyde said while watching the two arguing with security. Luan hummed while hitting a few buttons on the camera.

"Hey, excuse me? You dropped this," Luan approached and gave the camera back to the two. Lincoln, Clyde and Ronnie Anne were not able to help but try to suppress their laughter, managing to only let out light snickering.

"Thanks…" the camerawoman took it and looked over what was left of the footage. How fearful she then became that it was all blank. "He-hey! They're all gone! The pictures are all gone! Now what are we going to show the boss?!"

"Oh, they are? I'm sorry, my fingers slipped… Three times," Luan winked. With that said, the small group continued into the hospital, ignoring the screaming duo outside.

* * *

"Alright. That was pretty cool," Ronnie Anne smirked, aware that those two reporters were harassing a man simply here to try and see to his own child's wellbeing, as Luan had agreed was going on.

"What did you do that for anyway, Luan? You're kind of acting like you want trouble… Judging by what happened on the bus," Clyde blurted out. Even if the fight left both of those involved happy, it still was a little eerie to him. Lincoln was concerned about that as well, but his older sister was slightly more on the insanely unpredictable side, so he tried to let it slide.

"I don't want trouble. I want to make sure everyone's happy. I could tell those two wanted to make others sad, so I made them sad too," Luan explained her reasoning while they were climbing the stairwell to get to the second floor.

"You don't think that's a slightly hypocritical motto to live by?" Ronnie Anne rhetorically asked as the group arrived to the second floor. They could see the larger number of security guards in this area compared to the other floors. Some off duty police officers were here as well, otherwise the usual routine for many hospitals was going on as normal.

"Sorry, I couldn't hear you… You sound a little 'motto'tone!" Luan's smile kept strong. Her pun made the Santiago girl face palm in pure annoyance. She would have tackled her again right there, but she already bruised her boyfriends sister enough as is.

"Children hospitals always give me the creeps…" Lincoln tried to change the subject. Everything was brightly colored. The medical equipment, the gowns, and even the medical personnel's outfits, all had some cartoonish style to them. It seemed to only become creepier as he grew up.

"It reminds me of when you were first born, Lincoln! You were so tiny that Lori and Leni could hold you with one arm," Luan happily recalled one of the happiest times of her life. Each birth of her respective siblings leveled up her purpose to make everyone she could plausibly reach full of joy.

"Oh really? Maybe you could show me some of his baby pictures later," Ronnie Anne grew a devious smile.

"Please, no…" Lincoln shook his head, not needing to be mocked over all the silly things he did as an infant.

"Why was he so small?" Clyde asked, since the group was stuck in a hallway waiting for two nurses to try and move a set of clean food trays that had somehow gotten stuck upon colliding with an empty medical bed.

"You see, I was going to be five when Lincoln was supposed to be born in October, buuuuuuut the baby bunny couldn't wait. Mom kept having to go to the hospital to get checked up, because at least once a week, Lincy here would cause a scare and worry everyone," Luan began with the story. There was no way around the blockade obscuring them, and it was also the way they needed to go. Her only brother was looking a little sheepish to hear the story of his own birth, and yet his closest friends were glad to listen.

"What can I say? It seems to be a talent I have…" Lincoln claimed. Being the only brother for some reason made his entire family worry for him and his well being. Every time he got sick or got a minor injury, everyone would be there to help him. It was truly generous, but did make him always worry about why.

"You bet'cha, bro-bro! But of course, about six months along, everything just started happening like it was time. Everything the doctors tried didn't stop him or slow him down. Before anyone knows it, the next day at breakfast while grandpa was watching us, we get called from the hospital that we had a brother in the family," Luan finished telling the story, and Lincoln could already feel the teasing gaze of his girlfriend.

"I guess that explains why you have such a determined personality, Lame-o," Ronnie Anne could not help but joke.

"Always trying to help out everyone you can, a little on the impatient side," Clyde added, the two unable to help but laugh. Luan saw the birth of the baby bunny of the Loud family as great, but it was a rough time of everyone's lives. To have to wait two months before the Loud parents could bring home Lincoln was truly the most emotionally draining event they could get.

"Alright, I get it, I get it you guys," Lincoln tried to move on from the conversation. He suddenly felt the comedic Loud's arms around him giving him a hug from behind. He looked up to her in confusion.

"Luan?"

"Sorry. Sometimes, you just gotta hug someone," Luan replied. Ronnie Anne and Clyde found the scene rather sweet. Just then, they heard the sound of boots against the tiled floor.

"I was wondering what the racket was… Here, let me help," a slightly higher pitch toned voice spoke, the group of four looking to see the accidental blockade get separated by a strong looking man in a brown jacket.

"Parlezz Robinson!"

"Eh? Uhhh… Hello?" Parlezz straightened up, the nurses thanking him and going off to get back to their work. Luan watched as the other three swarmed the detective instantly.

"Whoa, whoa, ease up there," the detective insisted. Luan sighed, taking out a kazoo and blowing at it. The sound grabbed their attentions like easy to catch baseballs.

"Sorry about that," Luan smiled, she tossed the kazoo to a passing child as a present. She had plenty of the somewhat musical instruments to bother the rest of the Loud family members with.

"Oh, hey! You're Luan Loud? I didn't expect you to be visiting," Parlezz exclaimed, happily shocked. The comedian was more than relieved to know the man was not as scary as he looked in the picture. It appeared Lincoln was right that some people were just very bad with photographs.

"Of course I came right away after I got your message," Luan shook the older man's hand. His skin felt rough like he had been dared to hold his bare palms against a power sander for an hour. With how well she could figure out things, she would not be that far off. "I hope you don't mind I brought my brother his girlfriend and their friend along."

"I don't mind, but Garett can't have this many people around him… He gets stressed by crowds," Parlezz stated. He was more than glad to meet people who appreciated his work, but this was a not so appropriate setting.

"Alright well… We'll get out of your way, Luan," Lincoln disappointingly said, hoping that they would be able to talk to the detective more afterwards, but they were happy to at least get to meet him.

"Why don't we go look at the nursery while we have time to kill?" Clyde suggested.

"Whatever. I guess it beats being around a bunch of sick people in a waiting room," Ronnie Anne shrugged.

"Just call my phone when you're ready to go, Luan," Lincoln said, they began to head off toward another direction.

"I will. You three just take it easy," Luan lightly waved. With them dealt with, she began to follow the somewhat famous detective down the hallway toward the pediatric hospital's special care unit wing.

"So what's wrong with Garett?" Luan did not want to go using the wrong type of comedy. If it did something to cause a form of heart attack or set off other medical conditions, recalling what Lisa had told her, she would never hear the end of it.

"Garett is here for a kidney transplant. He's been here for about a month, because both of his are failing," Parlezz said. The then confused Luan brushed some of the dust off of her plaid skirt.

"It takes a month to get a kidney transplant? I thought that was the easiest to do, because… well y'know, everyone has two," Luan spoke. It was more confusing, because the young boy's father could donate one of his easily.

"It's because of Garett's condition. That's why things are taking a while. He needs a universal giver. Someone who can give to anyone of any bloodtype. I'd give him one of mine, but the problem is that I only have one. My other one got shredded by a stray bullet two years ago," Parlezz claimed, lifting his shirt a little to show a few small scars from the shrapnel of the bullet. Time healed all wounds, but it could not heal physical appearances. When Luan saw the scars, she shuddered.

"I'm sorry… I know your line of work is rough… you had to arrest someone this morning, after all," Luan said, surprising the older man.

"How'd you know? Have you been here earlier?" Parlezz tilted his head. The comedic Loud pointed to his hands. He looked down at the palms of the very rough appendages.

"Your hands are messed up from being scraped very hard on something. I'm guessing concrete of a higher floor, say… a parking garage! I'm betting you were trying to climb up to get ahead of someone… there's also a small impression on your wrist," Luan explained. There was a vaguely visible red ring-shaped mark along the detective's wrist that seemed to match the shape of a handcuff.

"Wow… sharp eyes. Yeaaah, I have that, because one of the patients turned out to be a wanted man. He tried to escape me through the parking area, but it's like you said. I climbed up to get ahead of him," Parlezz said, giving her slight praise for the attention to detail she had. The red mark was from the handcuff he attached to himself and the criminal, until other officers could come transport them away.

"Don't worry. You just relax. I know the media is bothering you… Anyway, what is your son's condition?" Luan proceeded back to the topic of his son, though the detective was still getting over the surprise of how good her eyes and mind were.

"It's too long for me to pronounce… but it basically changes his blood type. When Garett was first born, he was just like me and his mom, type A negative, and now he's AB negative. Apparently it's a one in a billion chance to have this condition," Parlezz answered. That condition made it ridiculously hard to get an organ donation for the young boy. Universal donors, who could give to any blood type, were hard to come by. The doctors were doing their best though.

"Don't worry. It'll work out… I'll go try and cheer him up for you," Luan declared. The man hadn't a second's hesitation when confessing his son's depression that grew each day that passed in this hospital.

"Thank you, Ms Loud," Parlezz watched the girl head off for Room 222, where a long glass wall allowed nurses to view all the patients through, so they did not have to walk in repeatedly to check on them. They only had to check in occasionally.

"Hey there, Garett!" the comedic Loud entered the hospital room, and she saw a young boy, perhaps almost the age of eight, with light black hair just like his father, in his medical bed, who barely even acknowledged the girl who had burst into the room.

"Are you another doctor…?" the young boy murmured.

"No, silly! I'm Luan Loud. I'm here to bring some cheer to those in need… that and they don't recognize funny bone specialists as real doctors yet," Luan introduced herself. Garett though appeared uneasy.

 _"Okay Luan, reel it back. He isn't the type to want to see all the stops be pulled out right away,"_ the comedian mentally told herself. She could catch him off guard. Talking to him about his feelings was perhaps all he wanted.

"Sorry if I scared you… It must get boring being around here all the time," Luan said while coming to his bedside. Seeing all the medical equipment he was attached to tugged at her heart strings a little.

"I just want to go home… I don't want to wait for nothing," Garett replied, still not looking at her.

"You're not waiting for nothing. You're waiting for a kidney. I know it's hard, but you already have 'patients'," the pun fell flat with nothing from Parlezz's son. Luan was considering saying, 'You have to be kidney-ing me', but that seemed heartless, even for her pun filled book.

"I'm not going to get one, and even if I do, it'll be worthless in a few years… What's the point?" Garett retorted. Even if it took forever for the condition to trigger, since it was so unpredictable, the young child would inevitably need another transplant. It would be pure luck if it was just his kidneys in distress again. Parlezz stood in the doorway, watching from afar. Luan was having no more of this depressed pessimistic attitude from the young boy.

"Aww! There's no reason to be down! Just because you've got a condition doesn't mean you won't get the transplant. It'll just take a while longer. You'll be able to go home sooner than you know it," Luan reassured the ailing child. Her words seemed to fall on deaf ears and a demoralized heart. Having already repeated what the boy's father said multiple times, she had to think for a moment. Luan smiled and reached into her pockets to acquire something.

"Garrett, you know, I've had trouble making people laugh lately… kind of my own slump, actually… Some would tell me to just turn my frown upside down, because I like to do that for others… but that's boring! I like to twist my frown all around!" Luan pulled up a small glass that both of them could see through. It was a mirror that normally would be seen in a fun house, but Luan had gotten a smaller more portable one. The young boy began giggling profusely when he saw her silly face being stretched and twisted by the mirror, and her own expression combined.

"You actually got him to laugh, he hasn't laughed since he was first admitted…" Garett's father was in awe, applauding the teenage comedian. Luan had a bright and braced smile, glad to have been able to make the child happy, even if it only lasted a little while.

"You'll get better sooner if you keep that bright smile," Luan told Garett while patting his head, she gave the miniature fun house mirror over to him, she had that depressed atmosphere finally broken.

"Thank you so much, Miss Loud," Parlezz spoke to her when she went back to him.

"Just call me Luan please," she corrected as they stepped into the hallway.

"Luan… Thank you. It's great to see him happy again," Parlezz spoke, relieved. His son was cheered up, and he did not care if it lasted even only a minute. It was the best thing to him.

"It was nothing. I can't imagine how hard it must be to only have one parent around," Luan claimed, looking at Garett while he played with the silly mirror.

"Yeah it is...Wait… I haven't mentioned anything about his mother to you," the detective claimed.

"Oh, you don't have to. Your wedding band is too little for your finger," Luan pointed out. The older man did have to keep a more attentive eye on his ring finger. The golden band was too small, practically crushing part of the digit.

"I don't get your point," he said.

"Oh, sorry. It's just something mom and dad say with some of their stories whenever they tell us about their marriage. The tighter the ring, the weaker the marriage. You shouldn't need anything to show love besides being yourself," Luan explained not resizing the wedding band or bothering to take it off gave off a lot of clues, even if it was just for her own parents motto. "You don't want to take it off either, and whenever Garett's mom is brought up, you get this sad look in your eyes for a second… so that means you're either a divorced man or a widower."

"…you sure learn a lot about a person from the small stuff… I didn't expect a comedian to be that observant…" Parlezz sighed, "You're right. Garett's mom and I were married. We never planned on kids or anything, but like most plans, they don't last."

"Or they have a 'hole' in them," Luan grinned. The detective held his head, not sure whether to feel ashamed or annoyed.

"Right… After Garett was born, she started becoming hostile with me because of my profession. So, I recorded a few of her outbursts, that pretty much got me custody after the divorce, she got no rights thankfully." Parlezz finished. Luan hated to see a broken up family, but she guessed that played a part in the young boy's depression. Being alone a lot while his dad was at work and no mother around may have had a major toll on Garret. "You know, Luan, you've got good eyes and a kind of sharp head… You'd make for a great detective. You've got a type of talent that no school can teach."

"Really? That's an honor coming from you! …I think," Luan did not know what to think of the compliment. She only had learnt about him today because of Lincoln. Parlezz reached for his wallet, but Luan brushed her hand at him. "No, you don't have to pay me."

"Well, I need to give you something as thanks…" Parlezz elaborated. When someone denied money once, they would stay stubborn no matter what. "…I know."

Parlezz opened his coat before he reached into the pocket to pull out a badge, he handed it over to Luan, she raised an eyebrow as she gave it a close inspection. It was a very old detective's badge that was circular with several small diamonds in the center to act as an outline for the shape of a leaf. Below the badge was some writing, 'Royal Woods, 22nd investigation team, Jerrason Robinson'.

"Uh… Is this important to you?" the comedic Loud asked.

"Well kind of… It was my dad's back from the seventies," Parlezz answered, "Long before I was born, he worked for the RWPD in the heart of the town, but working with others never worked out for me, so I became a detective kind of rogue."

"I can't take this!" Luan argued, trying to give the badge back, "Especially if it's that important! I'm just glad to make others happy, really!"

"You can relax. My dad got a different badge every year, because they kept catching bullets. That one is just the least damaged," Parlezz declared. He just carried one at random daily from the collection as a good luck charm. He closed Luan's hand around it.

"Well… Um… Okay, I guess, but if you want it back, just let me know," Luan claimed. Parlezz took the lower half of the detective badge that had his dad's name on it. That part he would keep.

"Don't worry about it… Kind of good to know there are honest kids in this world. Most are just street rats lately," Parlezz reassured. To see his son happy was all he needed. "How about I go meet your little group now? I can do that for you, at least."

"Sure thing," Luan nodded. The two headed down the hall to go find them. She looked at the detective badge and pondered to herself. "…Maybe I need to mix things up to get out of my slump?...Wait, **THAT'S IT!** "


	3. Detectidian?

"I can't believe anyplace can keep an entire room full of babies sleeping," Lincoln commented, viewing the newborns through a window with a few of the happy new parents around them. His two closest friends stood near him. He never understood how nurses could keep every one of the new infants content, almost like they had a magical touch.

"I think that might be because of the medicine," Clyde suggested. Most mothers received painkillers to help ease the tremendous agony that happened during birth. Lincoln could guess why his family's mother rarely accepted any herself, and she usually was quite proud of that fact.

"Awwww… Hey to you, too…" Ronnie Anne cooed, drawing the two boys' attention to her. She was gently waving to one of the nearby babies, a girl in a pink knit cap wrapped up in a blanket, that was stretching and yawning with their eyes closed.

"I didn't know you had that soft of a spot for babies, Ronnie Anne," Clyde grinned. He knew a lot of people were weak in front of cute things though.

"Huh? Wh-what? No! I was just…" Ronnie Anne had no reply. Always trying to play the tough bully was hard, especially to disguise the relationship she had with Lincoln. When that façade was broken, it was broken hard.

"Don't worry about it, Ronnie Anne. Just relax," Lincoln told his girlfriend, while taking her hand in his.

"Ugh… You're making me a big softy, Lame-o," Ronnie Anne sighed, before she gave a bright wide smile, deciding to do as he said and relax, which she hated to be caught doing since it made her put her guard down. But she thought she could allow it on this occasion.

"I swear, you two just like to rub your relationship in my face sometimes…" Clyde muttered to himself. The young couple was too busy sharing a hug to hear him. He thought they were perfect for each other, but was not able to help his feelings of jealousy, he had tried to get his own relationship on several occasions, but they never worked out, thankfully only two ended badly.

"Hey, Lincoln. Sorry if we took so long," Luan chimed up, approaching with that new detectives badge on her shirt. She gained a lot of the hallway's attention when they saw the detective behind her.

"Parlezz Robinson! Uhhhh… he-hey… Sorry about earlier," Lincoln apologized, awestruck. The detective gladly shook hands with him.

"Don't worry about it. Things are just stressful…" Parlezz claimed, "But your sister made my son happier than ever."

"That's my job! I have an announcement to make, too, once we're done here," Luan gave a thumbs up. Soon her attention was grabbed by the newborns. Another victim of their adorable, slumbering states.

"I like your weirder case documentaries. Y'know, the ones that took a long time for you to solve," Ronnie Anne claimed, glad they could at least talk to the somewhat famous detective. Just mentioning long cases made him groan, holding his head as he recalled any of those long drawn out cases, all of which were headache inducing.

"Don't remind me… the last documentation of those long cases I had to deal with was… I think, about that bank manager who was transferring cash through a complex set of money launderers," Parlezz recalled. There was an entire television program about the detective. Those documentaries were made for documentation sake, so that the cases could be summarized easier then they would have been in a scripted drama.

"My favorite's the cases where the police practically begged you to help them! I love those because of how bad they get, really fast. It's realistic, if you think about it," Clyde exclaimed. The trio had binge watched a bunch of the detectives case documentaries. It was what drove them to be huge fans of his. He was no actor, just a regular person doing his job. A lot of people became impressed and fascinated with how well he did it.

"Yeah, well I owe those guys for it," Parlezz turned to Lincoln, "What about you, kid?"

"Wh-what? Uh… I kind of like all of your work," Lincoln stuttered, as nervous as he would be if he met Ace Savvy.

"Heh… that's the same thing my son says… I know it's not exactly normal, but how about I give you my autograph?" Detective Parlezz offered. The Loud boys eyes glimmered with joy.

"Really?! Thank you!" Lincoln exclaimed. Luan loved seeing him so happy. She guessed her little brother was getting special treatment because of her efforts at being able to cheer up the detective's son.

"Mister Parlezz. The doctor wishes to speak to you, privately," a nurse spoke from nearby. The younger preteens were disappointed.

"Probably insurance questions again… You take care. Thank you again, Luan," Parlezz bid them farewell, before he followed the nurse off, leaving Lincoln with an autograph which he stared at in awe.

"You look cute when you're excited," Luan rubbed his head, messing up his white hair slightly, though he was too mesmerized to notice or reply.

"You said you had some news? What's up?" Clyde asked. Luan gave a bright smile.

"I'll tell you in the elevator!" The comedic Loud girl claimed. Ronnie Anne picked up her starstruck boyfriend, who was thankfully light-weighted enough for her to carry. The group went onward to the elevator, though it was odd, since the three thought Luan could just say it in a room with larger space.

"I'm sorry about beating you up on the bus… " Ronnie Anne apologized, "It's not been one of my better mornings."

"It's fine. If I let every little thing bother me, I'd not be able to make anyone happy," Luan reassured. As the doors for the elevator closed, she hit the button to head back to the ground floor. "So! I realized something while I was helping cheer up Parlezz's son! As thanks, I got this really old detective's badge... Y'see, I've been in a slump lately. I haven't been able to get a single real gig or set my foot on a stage in a while."

Luan showed off the detectives badge she now happily wore. The small diamonds made the outline of a nicely stylized leaf.

"I think my uncle had one that looked like that," Clyde scratched his head, his memory too fuzzy to remember. He was a toddler when he last saw his uncle.

"I could tell you were getting kind of bummed out lately," Lincoln admitted, having finally snapped out of his star struck state of awe, his girlfriend standing him back up on his feet with that smirk not changing on her face.

"Yeah I kind of figured you were acting weird… And boy, this elevator's slow," Ronnie Anne said. For only going down one floor, she felt they were going down ten.

"Yeah! So to fix it, I've decided…" Luan coughed, "I'm no longer going to do comedy!"

"What?!" they all screamed, shocked. They had to hold their ears after the sound of their Loud voices had echoed in the elevator, only to come back as a ringing pain. Luan had chosen the metal confides of that elevator for that exact reason, apparently.

"Ow… Sorry, I meant, I'm not putting comedy first anymore," Luan corrected herself while rubbing her sore ears. The elevator came to a stop, allowing the four to get off and continue along their way outside of the pediatric hospital.

"Why are you doing that Luan? You love making people happy!" Lincoln was worried that depression might have caught up to his older sister, and the constant smile was a false veil to hide it beneath. Ronnie Anne wondered if it was her fault in some way for the minor assault prior on the trip to the hospital.

"I still do, Linc, and I will. But I need to change it up…" Luan flashed a bright smile, "That's why I'm going to become a detective comedian, so I can help people and make them happy at the same time!"

"Detective comedian…? I've never heard of a detective like that," Clyde coughed, finding that somewhat odd.

"So what does that mean?" Ronnie Anne tilted her head as the four stood at a street corner, waiting for the crosswalk light to change color for them to pass.

"I'm going to be a Detectidian! It won't take much to get going… I'm mainly telling you guys, because I want you three to be my partners!" Luan declared. Her enthusiasm was welcomed, even if everyone was still getting over the initial shock that the comedian was putting comedy on the back burner for now.

"Eh… Sure sounds like a blast," Ronnie Anne, surprisingly, was the first to agree to being one of the new detective's partners.

"Really, Ronnie Anne? I mean… yeah, I'll do it, but I figured Lincoln would have to beg you to join," Clyde claimed, gratefully surprised.

"Please stop giving her ideas, Clyde. My legs' muscles are just starting to get better from the last time," Lincoln pleaded, more than happy to do anything for his sister, since that autograph had raised his joy a lot.

"I'm only doing it because it gives me an excuse to be closer to you, Lame-o… That and I feel bad for mauling your sister," Ronnie Anne explained, suddenly feeling Luan's arms wrap around her in a grateful hug, tight enough to hear a few bones popping as she was lifted off the ground a few inches.

"Aww! Thank you, Ronnie Anne! You're really a lot sweeter than you look," Luan spoke. The Santiago girl furrowed her brows in irritation, beginning to regret that guilt over the bus fight.

"Guess we're all agreed to playing detectives then," Lincoln nodded.

"You and your friends are the best, Lincoln!" Luan brought her only brother and Clyde into the hug as well.

"So, what do we do now?" Ronnie Anne then asked.

"Just give me a week or so and I'll have everything sorted out before you know it," Luan told them. Today was the start of something great, as far as she cared. The other three guessed that this left them to play the waiting game, unless she told them what she needed aid with specifically.

"Sounds like you have a plan, at least," Clyde could take relief knowing that much.

"Well, Lame-o, thanks for inviting us to come along to meet Parlezz," Ronnie Anne expressed her gratitude to him, too, "I was expecting a know-it-all self-righteous idiot, but he seems like any other normal guy doing his job well."

"Yeah, dude. It was pretty sweet. For not being one, he sure acts like a cop," Clyde added, also thankful for the invitation. To see the three of them happy also made Luan happy.

"Huh? N-no, it wasn't me, it was Lua-mfhhf!" Lincoln had a pie shoved in his face that he had not seen coming when his older sister had snuck it around him.

"Lincy, you're as sweet as the cherries in that pie," Luan hummed, letting Lincoln get all the credit for this since the reason behind the invite had slipped his girlfriend and best friend's minds. "We better get going home. I need to get straight to work to get everything set up!... And I want lunch too."

"I'd like to get some extra sleep too… You guys take care, and I'll see you soon," Lincoln said. Once he finished cleaning the pie off his face, Ronnie Anne gave him a quick kiss.

"See ya, Lame-o!" Ronnie Anne went off down the sidewalk, thankful she had her older brother's card to use for taxi services.

"Thanks again! Today was the best day of the week! I didn't know that was even a possible on Mondays!" Clyde exclaimed before he continued off the other way. Luan took Lincoln's hand in hers and began to head back the way they came so they could catch the bus again. or at worst get a long walking session home.

"I'm coming, 'detective', calm down," Lincoln laughed lightly.

"Then quit being so slow, 'partner'! Come on!" Luan playfully retorted. She had a ton of ideas blowing up in her head that she intended to get done, though she would need some time. Hopefully before anyone would even notice, that time would fly by fast.

"I'll be the best detectidian in Royal Woods!"

"I think you'll be the only one, Luan…"

"All the more reason to be the best, Lincoln!"


	4. The First Case

**Authors Note: I apologize for not updating, it has been a week where I had to handle and organize things, or else my time would be consumed for a few more months. I hope you enjoy and take care.**

It had been a week since Luan had decided to become Royal Woods' first detectidian. She had spent that entire week getting things in order. She finished the main part of her preparations by editing her website so that people would know of her new profession and could get a hold of her via similar contact methods.

"Hey, Luan. You got a package."

Luan turned from her desk to see her slightly younger sister, Lynn, standing there in her usual jersey.

"Really? They came fast!" Luan brightly smiled as she hopped up from her seat and took the small box from her sports loving sibling's arms.

"What's in it?" Lynn asked. A lot of the family had been concerned for the comedian ever since she announced to them all that she was putting comedy somewhat to the side, and had even put away her favorite puppet, Mister Coconuts, that she had owned since she was little.

"That's a secret. I need to go get my partner though," Luan pulled out two items from the small package. One was small blue case that seemed, barely any bigger than a music box, and the other was an average sized silver carrying case.

"I sure hope mom and dad are right that this is just a phase," Lynn sighed, not sure whether or not this was good or bad for her older sister, but the comedian seemed happy. The sporty teen let Luan go do whatever it was she planned on doing while she went back to her chores.

Luan had made her way down the hall to her brother's room. The door was half open, so she saw no need to knock. She popped into the room, unannounced. "Hey, Linc! Are you awake?"

"Shhhh… Quiet down Luan," Lincoln whispered. Beside him and cuddled up to him was Lana on his right, and their gothic Loud sister Lucy to his left. Lily was also resting on his chest, nuzzled into him with her favorite small blanket draped over her. The three were in a deep sleep with their only brother.

"Awww! That's so adorable," Luan took several pictures with her cellphone. Lincoln could not even get to sleep because of Lana snoring in his ear, and he was unsure if Lucy really was sleeping or simply faking it, which gave him eerie chills.

"Isn't it… They were helping me clean, and this somehow happened," Lincoln claimed. Lily had only been around out of coincidence. They originally were in here to help him clean his room, but they started falling asleep one at a time before he realized it, by the time he did notice he was trapped in the middle of it all on his very bed.

"Here. I got you this, since you and your friends agreed to be my partners," Luan gave the small blue case to him. Lincoln used his fingers on his only free hand to carefully open it. He saw three pin badges inside that were similar in design to Luan's. Each one had a different style of leaf to it. Though they were of a cheaper quality, they looked greatly similar, though one would not be able to tell without holding the two to compare.

"Oh, wow… That's really cool of you, Luan," Lincoln attached one of the pin badges to the upper part of his shirt before resting the other two in the blue box aside. He had to give them to Ronnie Anne and Clyde later when he had the chance.

"Don't 'pin' it on me. I owe you after all… Well, have a sweet 'dream', bro-bro. I have my first job already lined up! I'll be back later today," Luan left his room on that note.

"Wait, what? Luan, hang on!" Lincoln wanted to follow initially to help his older sister. He was not sure if she could handle this alone, sadly he was not going anywhere for a while until his other three family members decided to wake up. He swore that Lucy tightened her hold on his arm. All he could do now was close his eyes and try to relax. If he could not go help on her first case, then he could at least catch up on his sleep, since he had no choice.

* * *

"My first job as a detectidian! And it sounds like an easy one, too!" Luan hummed while sitting in the back of a rather slow taxi, looking over the contents of the briefcase, inside was what she found essential to her new temporary job.

"If my pockets weren't full of random things, I'd not need to carry a briefcase at all… but oh well!" Luan's smile remained unchanged as she reached into her pocket and pulled out an old modified smoking pipe, which on the side of it was a small rainbow wheel of colors with a dial in the center. The detectidian turned it to the black and white setting, uncaringly ignoring the writing on the bottom attached to a tag that she ripped off and put in her pocket.

 **"Invention #13-15-14-15, property of Lisa Loud, Optical Color Compatibility Changer."**

 **"DO NOT REMOVE FROM SAFETY CONTAINMENT UNIT!"**

"Time for my first… inner monologue," Luan blew into the pipe, and out expelled several large bubbles that floated up before popping. As each one after another popped, everything seemed to gradually turn black and white. It was like the early day sun had been shoved ahead by the moon. Things looked darker and the atmosphere became heavy. The taxi driver did not notice because of his sunglasses.

"Ah, there we go," the comedic Loud kept the blowpipe in her mouth as her shadow stretched across the empty seat. She put the silver case to the side before she leaned back, resting one leg on top of another. Her expression started to become serious.

 _"My first case… I never really paid much mind to this little 'trait' I have for the small details, heck most wouldn't even notice,"_ Luan pulled out a small piece of paper that had an address written on it, which was the taxi's destination on the paper, which had a written message, and a picture of an old ragged teddy bear.

 ** _"Dear Miss Loud. I'm one of your biggest fans. I've been following your work since your website was first made. My name's Jean Arnult and I'm eleven years old. It's just me with my twin sister while our mom and dad are always busy on archeological digs."_** Luan took the bubble pipe out of her mouth and rested it in her shirt pocket, before she proceeded to continue reading.

 ** _"A few days ago, my twin sister, Jeanette lost her teddy bear. It's like it vanished into thin air. I know it doesn't sound like much, but she was born with a form of autism. Ever since she lost Bearry, she's slowly started shutting down, and I can't stand to see her like that. Please help me."_**

Luan tilted her head back while looking to the roof of the taxi. Things felt a lot slower though, but that may be because of the fact the driver was purposefully taking the longest route possible to try and get the most money for doing his job. _"Twins... They can either really hate each other or really love each other, but no matter what, in the end, they can't survive without each other. I didn't think my first case would be something so simple but important. I never plan on ignoring a case if I can help solve it, and if I can make people happy while solving it, then that is even better."_

"Hey… how're you talking without moving your lips? And why is everything black and white?!" the driver had finally taken his own sunglasses off of for a short time once he realized they were hindering his driving instead of helping, and then he saw what Luan was doing, or rather heard. The taxi had just stopped at a stoplight beforehand.

"Oh! Sorry it's an inner monologue! I took away the colors too, don't worry they'll come back… eventually… I think," Luan answered, breaking from her seriousness and leaning into the window for the cab driver to see the color changing bubble pipe for himself.

"What are you, a witch?" the taxi driver fearfully asked, before being sprayed in the face by her water flower in an attempt to calm him down.

"Only on Halloween. But don't worry; my thoughts are just being broadcasted for everyone to read- I mean hear! That's how monologues work. Nobody wastes time talking to themselves in their own head for fun, unless you're crazy. But I've got it all under control," Luan explained. The taxi driver tried to just focus on the road out of fear. The detectidian seemed too ridiculous for him to understand.

"Where was I…? Oh yeah!" she returned to her serious expression while lying on the seat that was large enough for her whole body. _"The Arnult family… I really didn't think my first case would be somehow so simple, yet the people involved are from one of the most well known families in Royal Woods. The Arnults have uncovered treasures so ancient that it could even make the most uncaring museum janitor's mouth moist in excitement… I better do this well, or else I might be looking at an early career's burial. And no archaeologist is going to dig it back up."_

Luan wanted to say a lot more, but the taxi driver looked ready to run away screaming in terror, but they were on a rather high speed road at the moment for him to do such a thing. The detectidian decided to end it there, and she lay back and relaxed while waiting for the taxi to arrive to the Arnults' residence.

* * *

It took a short time for the taxi to come to a halt in a small neighborhood in the suburbs. By now the color had returned to the small vehicle. Luan stepped out with the silver carrying case. "Thanks for the lift! How much do I owe you?"

The driver did not even lower his window. Instead, he slammed his foot on the gas pedal, the taxis tires screeched as he drove off, leaving her standing there in confusion.

"It must be my lucky day to get a free ride," Luan grinned. She turned to the house before her to see a small fence surrounding it with pointed metal tips on top of the walls, which would give anyone who tried to climb over them a bad time.

"Guess I just push here," she pushed the button on an intercom beside the gate entrance, and a light buzzing rung out.

"Hello? Who's there?" a calm, light-toned voice asked.

"Jean? Hey! It's Luan Loud, the detectidian," Luan declared. She soon heard a clink, and the gate was unlocked. She opened the gate and pressed her way through into the yard. Luan made immediate note seeing the two floor home before her. _"Well, they clearly aren't alone. Someone recently painted. Shoddily at that…"_

The paint looked a little uneven. It was a side effect of effortlessly spreading spray paint on the house instead of using proper paint. The lawn was recently trimmed, as the piles of old dying grass were also still around.

"You came really fast. I barely sent you that email this morning," an eleven-year-old young boy spoke. His hair was a messy shade of black and brown. Jean looked eager to see the person he saw as a great comedian come help. The teddy bear was good reason for her supposed detective skills to be called, but the teenage Loud's comedic abilities just were a bonus on top of that.

"Oh, I came right away after I got it! It's nice to meet you. I take it you're jean?" Luan greeted him. Jean nodded, shaking her hand. She had snapped out of her thoughts, having mentally written down what she had seen already.

"So it's just you and your twin? When were your parents home last?" Luan stepped inside the pleasant-looking home behind the younger boy. The floors were made of wood, and the walls were decorated with several odd pieces of art, yet no photographs of the family nor any pets to be seen.

"Two weeks ago… they were only home a few days before they got a call about a dig area that could use their help," Jean explained. When they arrived to the living room, Luan saw a girl who was the same age as Jean, whom she presumed to be his twin. Jeanette looked a lot like her brother, her hair having barely any difference to it, she was wearing a plain blue dress, while her twin brother dawned a solid red colored shirt and jeans.

"So it's just the two of you?" Luan asked, "Don't you have anyone looking after you?"

"No but it's not that bad though… if anything it has brought us closer together," Jean answered, looking worried by the mere thought that the girl could call Child Protective Services on them if she ever so wished. It was jarring for Luan to know that the two twins were left alone, perhaps for days, or even weeks. She knew any member of her Loud family would feel lonely in that situation.

"I bet… It's nice to meet you, Jeanette. I'm Luan Loud," Luan received an oddly intimidating stare when her emerald eyes met young Jeanette's hazel eyes.

"Hi," Jeanette's focus stayed on the floor with her hands resting on her knees, like she was waiting for her turn in a dentist's office.

"I'm sorry, but this isn't her. The real Jeanette vanished when Bearry disappeared," Jean apologized. The detectidian rubbed the young girls head reassuringly.

"I understand you. I'm sure she's 'beary' worried about him," Luan punned while straightening up, "Do you two always pluck your eyebrows, though?"

"Uh… How do you know that?" Jean scratched his head, while another odd glare came from the twin girl, while she was not looking.

"The spots where your hair used to be aren't tanned. They stick out really badly. It's a sign your skin was protected by something, and you haven't been outside enough for the sun to tan you again since they were removed," Luan deduced. The young boy was feeling his eyebrows in slight disbelief at her claim.

"Wow...Yeah we do. I know it's silly for me to care about my looks or like make up, since I'm a boy and all that stuff… but still," Jean sighed, he began to lead the detectidian toward the kitchen.

"Don't worry. You can 'make it up' to me later after I find your sister's bear," Luan giggled. Her mind was having a lot of different ideas at the moment, but none were revolving around the bear. Something was suspicious around here and that just made her concerned, she never felt like this before.

"Alright. I'll tell you what happened the afternoon it disappeared," Jean agreed. They would get nowhere by not telling Luan the circumstances of the bear's disappearance.

 _"Time to get to work on my first case!"_ Luan monologues again, _"I better solve it quick though… before it becomes 'high noon'."_


	5. Shut Down & Secrets

Luan currently was sat in the kitchen where the twin had taken her. It looked pretty clean, she noticed that the food was organized alphabetically even. Though she did wonder why there was a lot of milk, as well as fruit sauce jars, they were very confusing. The refrigerator also housed insulin, those were two things she made immediate mental note of.

"So this is the crime scene? It hasn't been tampered with since the victim disappeared, right?" Luan closed the refrigerator before she pulled out a notebook and pencil to write every bit of detail or oddities down.

"Not really," Jean answered, "We don't eat in the kitchen unless our mom and dad are around. Otherwise we just prepare food and eat it wherever we feel like it."

"Mhm…" the detectidian nodded. She understood what he meant. There was not much of a purpose for eating at the kitchen table anymore, for most families. It was normal for the Loud family since they had a lot they could discuss and talk about over dinner daily, but in a normal sized family, they would run out of things to talk about fast, inevitably the kitchen would be just storage for the food and mail. "How do you get your food?"

"Mom and dad leave us money for us to order junk food with… I don't want Jeanette eating the same garbage every day, so I walk to the store," Jean explained. The money was enough for a good supply of food. Sadly, using a taxi could take away a good chunk of cash, resulting in a smaller portion size of the amount needed to bring back enough food for the two of them to last a good period of time.

"What?!" Luan's eye twitched, "You walk all the way and back? The nearest grocery store from here is about ten miles away."

"I know... but I have to take care of Jeanette. Nobody else can but me…She really likes milk, she asked me to get four cartons of it on the last trip," Jean muttered. Luan patted his back, trying to calm him down.

"You're as sweet as my little brother… always trying to do everything to make everyone happy, no matter how hard it is," Luan declared smiling, that uneasy feeling was still not settling inside her mind. The new detective got her pencil and notepad back out, trying to focus back on the task at hand. "So tell me what happened when the victim vanished?"

"Things were going fine. I was cutting up some vegetables to make soup with… Bearry was sitting on the table, I had just gotten him out from the dryer. All I did was go to the bathroom for a few minutes, when I came back he was gone," Jean retold the events to the best of his recollection. The detective comedian scribbled away on her notepad, drawing a small, crudely drawn image of the male twin himself, after taking his statement.

"What about Jeanette? What was she doing at the time?" Luan requested, doubting she would get the young girl herself to talk with the status she was in, but her twin seemed like the type to rarely let Jeanette out of his sight.

"She was napping. I was cooking that soup to surprise her, but when she woke up and realized Bearry was gone she started shutting down," Jean sighed, looking heartbroken at remembering the very moment he saw her like this.

"Alright… and you have no pets? Nothing at all that could have taken the victim?" Luan continued, stuffing the notepad and pencil away.

"The closest thing we have to a pet is the neighborhood raccoon, and he never scuttles into the yard even," Jean said. Luan could not help but feel slightly bad for the twins. Being alone without even a pet so often must be boring.

"Okay, well thanks for your statements," the detectidian sighed. It seemed she would not be required to call protective services for their living conditions, thankfully. "I'm going to go check around upstairs first off, okay?"

"Sure. I'll just stay in the living room with Jeanette. Come get us if you need anything," Jean insisted.

"I will," Luan nodded, watching the young boy leave to return to his twin's side. The teenage Loud rubbed her head. That uneasy feeling was distracting her slightly, and that was nothing short of annoying.

 _"How come this feels so tough? It's my first case as a detectidian!... But why does it feel like its two cases being mixed up instead?"_ Luan mentally pondered as she headed for the stairs. She saw Jean hugging Jeanette close on the couch, both of their eyes closed with their heads resting against each other. The comedic Loud smiled at the two before she continued upstairs.

"Wow… this makes my house look like a mansion," Luan saw only four doors upstairs, most of which were open. Each respectively led to the bathroom, the master bedroom, a staircase upstairs and a simple small bedroom that belonged to the twins.

"Hmm… That's odd," the new detective looked over the beds in the two rooms. The twins room looked rarely stepped into. There was a good amount of dust on top of everything and the beds were tidy. In the master bedroom, the large queen sized bed was recently slept in. Luan could tell by the impressions left in the pillows, the blankets were pulled down too, so those wanting to sleep in the bed could crawl right in easily.

 _"Guess I don't blame Jean and Jeanette for wanting to sleep in such a big bed. Whenever mom and dad are gone overnight, everyone plays a game of cards to decide which four'll sleep in it. I wonder why parents get the best beds? Maybe it's a metaphor for something,"_ she mentally rambled to herself. The twins she was helping had slept in it for sure. Luan did not dislike her bed in the room that she shared with Luna, but it was nowhere near as good as the Loud parents' bed itself.

Luan took only a few minutes to investigate the rooms. They all were in decent condition and there was nothing noteworthy, unless it was all hidden away in drawers and the closet, which the detective did not believe in opening any of them without permission from the twins. She was supposed to be helping them, she certainly had no intention of ransacking any room unless she was required to. In the twins bedroom was a giant framed picture of their presumed mother, and in the parents bedroom was a similar one of their father.

"Don't tell yourself the obvious joke, Luan. Even you have standards," the detective told herself as she investigated the bathroom, and there was so far nothing eye-catching about it but the cleanliness of the room. Every last inch of the bathroom was shining. Luan suddenly heard a rather sinister song that fit like a tune to an overlord being disappointed with his army.

"Hm? Who could be calling me at a time like this?" Luan pulled out her cellphone and answered. "Hello, hello. This is Luan Loud. The one and only detectidian. How can I help you?"

 _"This would be a great slogan,"_ she then thought to herself.

"Hey, Luan? Where are you?" answered the phone-obsessed Lori Loud.

"Oh hey, Lori! I'm on my first case, and it's a doozey," Luan hummed while looking in the bathtub. There was nothing odd aside from the white surface reflecting her face quite well, so well that it could practically be a substitute for a mirror.

"Please, don't tell me you're at some creepy old man's house... ALONE…" Lori sounded tremendously worried, like the rest of the Loud siblings when they first heard that Luan was putting comedy second. No matter how much she reassured them, hearing her give up what essentially made her herself brought nothing but concern.

"Noooo! Don't be silly, Lori. I'm just helping these twins find a teddy bear… I think… things aren't making much sense," Luan responded, putting the phone between her head and shoulder as she looked under the bathroom sink. She saw nothing underneath besides extra toilet paper rolls. Her eyes were caught by a small black pouch that was zipped closed, clearly being hidden in the very back of the dark area beneath the sink. She picked it up to investigate.

"Luan, why don't you tell me where you are and I'll come pick you up? Mom and Dad are going to take us out to get pizza for lunch," Lori offered. Pizza sounded great to Luan right now, but she shook her head.

"Sorry Lori, but I'm gonna have to 'slice' you short, I have to do everything I can to help my clients, no matter who or what they are. Otherwise I'm not a good detectidian," Luan focused back on the task at hand. She opened the zipped pouch and saw small odd device that looked to be attachable to a person's forearm.

"What? Luan, you're only playing detective! I know you love helping people and making them feel better, but you're probably just annoying them and getting in the way," Lori argued, more concerned that maybe Luan was lying and planning a more devious scheme.

"Huh? Sorry, I can't hear you, Lori. You're breaking up, because the phones going in my pocket. Bye, I'll see you later!"

 **"Luan! Don't you dare hang up on me!"**

With a simple tap of the finger, the phone call was abruptly cut short. The detective comedian put her phone on silence mode and pocketed it. Almost instantly it began vibrating from Lori attempting to call once again.

"Is everything okay?" Luan's ears perked up hearing that voice, she turned around. Jeanette stood there in the hallway.

"Oh! Sorry, Jeanette, I'll get out of the way," Luan apologized, assuming that the female twin wanted to use the bathroom. It was nice to not be greeted by that hostile glare in her eye, but something felt strange for certain.

"Can you give the blood testing kit back?" Jeanette held out one hand. Luan looked the odd strap like device over.

 _"A blood testing kit? That's not exactly something you see lying around… maybe one of their parents is diabetic. But then why is it here and not with them? And why did they leave the insulin behind in the refrigerator if they go away for really long times?"_ the detective Loud thought to herself, handing over the device. It had multiple purposes, but its main use was to check someones blood sugar in case they needed insulin or a sweet treat. She then pulled out her notepad and pencil, not hesitating to make a crudely drawn picture of Jeanette. "Do you mind answering a few questions?"

"I don't know…" the female twin replied uneasily.

"Hey, don't worry. I'm here to help you…" Luan crouched down to be on the younger girl's same level. "Jean is trying his hardest to make you happy. That's the one thing I was born to do myself, except I try to do it for everyone."

"Mmh…" the brown and black haired girl gave a slow nod.

"What were you doing at the time the victim vanished?" the detectidian requested, tapping away at the notepad with the pencil, ready to write down what she would say.

"I was taking a bath…" Jeanette spoke, causing the teenage Loud to quirk an eyebrow but not say a thing.

"How long would you say you were in the bathroom for?" Luan queried. It was an awkward question, but if there was one thing she was good at, it was making strange situations slightly less odd, or doing the exact opposite.

"I like to lay in the hot water a while… I think it was an hour," Jeanette spoke. Luan wrote the time down, finding it very strange. Nobody took that long to wash up, even if they enjoyed it. Her statement, in fact, contradicted Jean's. Luan took this as the final sign that these twins may be very close, but there was something wrong. Whether they knew it or not, one was clearly lying to the other, which one was one of the few mysteries at hand for her.

"Thanks Jeanette. This is important… I guess things now are getting 'heated'," Luan punned to try and lighten the mood. The female twin stared with no reply to that. Not even an annoyed groan. The detectidian put the notepad and pencil away. "Sooo… is there anywhere in the house you'd want me to search specifically? I lightly checked the rooms up here and nothing showed up."

"Mhh…" Jeanette simply shook her head, before she walked away into her and Jean's room, closing the door behind her and locking it.

 _"Guess not… Maybe I should have a look around outside the house? Every angle is important… I'm going to go bonkers though if I get more pieces for a puzzle that doesn't even have a frame yet,"_ Luan mentally pondered, making her way downstairs, she hated knowing one of her first clients was lying to her. However her attention was grabbed, when she noticed that Jean still was in the living room, lying on his back on the couch staring at the ceiling. She approached him. "Jean? Are you okay?"

"Yes…" the male twin flatly replied, not even giving her a glance. That look in his eyes was so similar to Jeanette's when Luan first met her. Now he was the one seemingly shutting down, while his twin had become more active. The detective continued outside, making mental note of this.

"Well there's nothing out here… Nothing different anyway," Luan said to herself while doing her third lap around the yard. Nothing caught her eye at all. There was no tool shed, or any other buildings in the backyard.

"Huh… Wait a minute…" the detective comedian stopped herself at one side of the home. Looking up, she saw three windows on the second floor's left side. She pointed at each one. _"That windows to the parents room and that ones to the twins room so… what's the middle one to?"_

Luan had investigated all of the upstairs rooms. There was only one window in each. But there had been no middle room. The comedic Loud headed on right back inside, feeling a light bulb in her head practically exploding with an idea.

* * *

"Ah hah! I was right," Luan arrived to the Arnult parents' room, and she focused her attention to a painting on the wall. It was large and reaching the floor depicting an older man, who was presumably the twins' father. The detective only took note because in the twins room was a picture of the Arnults' mother. The comedic detective cracked her fingers and reached up to begin carefully moving the painting. " _Now let's see if my idea's right… because if it is, then I have a lot of this case solved."_

Luan finally finished moving the painting of Mr. Arnult to the side without so much as a scratch to it. Surely enough, there was a door hidden where the painting once was. The detectidian took the silver case she had off of her side and opened it up, reaching inside and rummaging around. After a few moments, she pulled out an odd looking multi tool.

"It's a good thing I've had years of practice picking locks," Luan smiled. She had to pick a lot of doors locks open back in her own home for such a large variety of reasons, but that was normally done with a bobby pin. This multi tool she had would make it somewhat easier for her.

"Let's see… Turn here… push a little there, then twist again… Aaaaand voila!" the detectidian heard a loud click. She hated to be picking locks, but considering the circumstances, there was no reason not to check every room. Luan opened up the unlocked door.

"I was right…" she let out a somewhat unhappy sigh. The room she had entered looked like a room for a newborn prince, bright and cheerful. This was the very third room in an odd place. She then saw there were several toys lying around in an empty crib.

"There you are, little guy… Well, this mystery is solved," the detectidian picked up Bearry. The raggedy bear lay in the crib. She approached the already unlocked other door of the room and pushed it open, and she stepped into the twins room. The painting of Mrs. Arnult was already put to the side.

"Jeanette…?" Luan called to her. There she saw the young girl sitting on the edge of her bed. In her arms was a tiny baby boy who did not even look three months old, he was in a tiny blue shirt and diaper.

"How did you get in here?" Jeanette asked, looking up to her. The new detective gave the stuffed teddy bear over to the baby, he cooed in joy as he took Bearry into his arms.

"Sorry. I picked your lock… or your parent's room's secret doors lock, anyway," the teenage comedian took a seat beside the female twin, "So… you've not been shutting down at all? It's just some act for your brother?"

"I don't know what you mean," Jeanette replied, sounding confused.

"Okay… Look, I know that baby isn't a sibling of yours, and I sure know your parents know nothing about it. Same for your brother. He wants to take care of you so bad that he gets everything you need without any questions, no matter what," the worried detectidian began, while trying to keep the atmosphere calm. She just wanted the truth from them. "That's a great relationship, but… I'm guessing your parents didn't leave you alone. They always thought your housekeeper would take care of you both while they were gone. Judging by the rushed paint job outside and the cut lawn, those were her last acts before she left this little guy on your doorstep."

"You're… very smart… smarter then I'd ever be," Jeanette weakly replied. She pulled out a bottle of milk from the table and began to feed the little baby.

"Oh no… I'm the second dumbest of my family. But hey, brains don't matter when it comes to making someone happy… Unless, y'know, they like smart jokes. Say, a pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar, but no joke. Why?"

"Why?" Jeanette asked after a few awkward moments.

"The joke wasn't there, because it was busy parking the car," after a moment, Luan's joke received quite a rousing round of laughter from the young twin. Luan was glad to see her happy. However, it seemed it was because things unfortunately were not too happy of an ending at the moment. "Your brother assumed that you were shutting down because of Bearry, but… You've not been shutting down. You've changed, because you had to take care of this little guy…"

"His name's Jerry…" Jeanette interjected.

"Sorry… You changed a lot to take care of little jerry here, but I know there is a reason his mother left him to your family… And if I had to guess it's because of money," Luan theorized aloud while seeing the blood testing kit from nearby. It was meant to be used for infants so there would be no pain of pricking from any needles. "He's a diabetic, right?"

"Yes," Jeanette nodded. The new detective was correct, she had put all the pieces of the puzzle together to reach these conclusions. "I've been getting the insulin from one of my teachers."

Luan sighed, feeling bad for this situation that had been forced upon nothing but a mere child with minor mental issues, who had no one to help but an unaware twin brother, and an even more oblivious teacher at that.

"Well, I'm… I'm sorry. You're one of the biggest hearted people I've ever met, but... Jeanette?" Luan noticed the young twin get this odd look in her eyes again, that same one she had when they first met. Luan took the baby into one of her arms, using her other to get out her cellphone, beginning to dial 911. Both Jean and Jeanette now were acting strange. This was the last straw to the comedian.

 **"I'm going to do what your parents should have done weeks ago. I'm getting you actual help. The case isn't done until I can make everyone involved happy."**


	6. Rewards & Trouble

**Authors note: I just wanted to say thank you all for the 2,000 views. And I want to apologize for being slow, things have gotten immensely busy, as well as minorly depressed due to another issue. And I apologize.**

It had been four days since the first case Luan had taken was completed for the most part. She had just arrived to the Pediatric Children's Hospital by bus, which she disembarked from, she headed to the entrance on foot.

"You know, I wish I could say that I can't believe your first case got that crazy… But I'd be surprised if it didn't," Lincoln commented while following behind his older sister, seeing she was carrying in her hand, a small bag.

"I can't exactly say it's done yet, but I hope they'll enjoy a visit from us… and maybe a surprise check-up on Parlezz and Garett," Luan hummed. Both of the Loud siblings were wearing their detective badges proudly on the front of their shirts. Lincoln had delivered the badges to Clyde and Ronnie Anne a couple of days ago, though those two were busy and could not join the other two semi-detectives for this trip.

"Uhh, Luan… I think those two are here again," Lincoln pointed to the all too familiar white news van. The two they met on their first trip though were nowhere to be seen. A sight which did nothing more than concern them.

"I'm sure security is keeping them out," Luan shrugged, not paying any mind to the matter. they continued onward into the Pediatric Hospital. the building seemed as normal as ever with the usual amount of busy work. they began to head for the stairwell, once again too impatient to wait on the elevator.

* * *

"So Lily is still sneaking into your room, huh?" the detectidian asked when her brother brought up the topic. The two were trying to help a nurse carry up a cart. It was slightly too wide for the elevator, no matter which way it was twisted. The detectives seemed to always be helping the hospital whenever they were around.

"She still is. I don't know why she's gotten really clingy to me lately. She's never been like this with anyone or anything, aside from her blankey," Lincoln nodded, grunting with effort as the cart bounced up another step. Lily only had grown her determination to get to her only brother, after escaping her crib in the night every night. They had no idea why, that was the main issue. Lincoln normally held no care, but this had been going on for a long time now and it was only raising his curiosity more and more each passing day.

"I'd say it's just a phase…" Luan responded, "Buuuuut no one in our family has done that before. The closest we've had is Lucy appearing in people's beds at random to scare them."

"Maybe I should try spending some time with Lily. That could be what she wants," Lincoln thought aloud as the two detectives finally got the cart upstairs. The nurse thanked them for that, giving them both lollipops as thanks before he continued on his way. The two pocketing them for later.

"Of course. You should relax, anyway," Luan patted his back, "The Arnult twins are in Room 209, by the way. You wanna come with me?"

"Nah. I'll let you go alone. I'll wait around here. This was your case, after all," Lincoln shook his head. He would gladly come along, but he would be unable to add anything to the conversation, since he was of no help to the case.

"Alright bro-bro," Luan rubbed his head before she headed off to get to the room. After dodging some of the many busy hospital staff moving around, and generally being unable to go two minutes without having some sort of obscuring incident in her way, she finally got to the room where her clients now resided while in recovery.

"Knock knock!" Luan chimed up from the open doorway, still knocking on it happily. There she saw Jean and Jeanette lying in their respective medical beds. The room was big enough to have them both in there, thankfully.

"Miss Loud! You came to see us again?" Jean greeted the older detective. She had been visiting them since they were first admitted. It had turned out that the twins had been having a complex series of micro seizures, that had been causing these 'shutting down' moments. Luan thankfully had gotten them help soon enough to stop these seizures from worsening, and thus it was caught very early. Just some medication and everything was under control.

"Of course! I have to make sure my clients are happy, or else my case isn't closed," Luan repeated one of her many new mottos. Jeanette showed a bright smile on her face while she was holding Jerry, the baby himself sleeping soundly.

"Luan Loud? Um… it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance."

Luan saw another couple near the twins. The voice came from someone that she presumed was the father of the twins. Mr. Arnult shook the young Loud's hand.

"You two are their parents? I didn't think I'd get to meet you," the detectidian kept that same smile. It had taken a few days, but the Arnult twins' parents were able to get home as fast as they could to their children.

"The places we usually go are far away, but I never realized how hard the twins worked whenever we left," Mrs Arnult said. This was the quickest they had ever gotten back from a dig before, even if they had quit halfway through. They watched the young Loud go to the female twins bedside.

"I had my sister Leni help out your teddy bear, and now I can tell you that he is feeling 'beary' better," Luan grinned, approaching Jeanette and presenting the brand new Bearry that she had been carrying in the bag. Jeanette was in awe. Her old toy looked brand new, like it was never touched. Leni was great at fashion design and quite handy with tools. Stitching up a toy to have a better and smooth patch job was a breeze to accomplish.

"Thank you! I'll make sure Jerry takes good care of him," Jeanette smiled. Even if the baby was still asleep, the young twin would make sure he would receive his gift and know who got the teddy bear all fixed up.

"You don't have to thank me. Just seeing you safe and sound is enough to keep this detectidian content," Luan reassured while rubbing the young girl's head.

"And protective services aren't going to be taking Jerry!" Jean chimed up excitedly. Mrs. Arnult had to calm down her young son since he looked ready to leap out of the bed just to hug the Loud girl, as if his appreciation was building up so much he was about to explode.

"Really? But why is that? Did they find his mom?" Luan was surprised, not able to put this together, but she thought that maybe the young newborn's mother changed her mind and decided to come back for him.

"No… unfortunately, despite my attempts to reach out to her, there doesn't appear to be a single trace left of the housekeeper," Mr. Arnult confessed. He looked saddened from when the news was explained to him that the house keeper had left her child at their doorstep, simply because he was diabetic and needed help that she was unable to provide.

"So we've decided that to repay her for all she's done, we are going to adopt Jerry and ease up on our work from now on," Mrs. Arnult explained. Luan was pleasantly surprised. The famous archaeologists never knew how much trouble their children went through whenever they left. That had to change today.

"Wow. I guess that means you old fossils can stop hunting for fossils yourselves and finally take it easy," the bright and cheerful detectidian joked. Everything was becoming a lot better for the Arnult family. Jeanette seemed more than happy to take care of the family's newest addition. In the end, the case was closed.

* * *

After another ten minutes in the medical room talking with the family, learning from each other about their future plans, the detectidian arrived back to where her younger brother was, she saw he was looking around the corner, with a suspicious look plastered on his bucktoothed face.

"Lincoln, what are you…"

"Hush," Lincoln motioned her to look. There they saw two people wearing practical surgical outfits in the hallway. They were oddly overdressed for being on the nursing staff.

"…what about them?"

"These two have been acting weird… I have an idea why, too," Lincoln quietly said, before beginning to go over toward the two while they were distracted. "Hey excuse me do you know where the bathroom is?"

"Eh? Uh… yeah. That way," the woman pointed a thumb to the left. Hearing that voice was enough for him. When they both turned their backs on him, he hopped up and pulled their face and hair covers off.

"What the-?!"

"Hey! Watch where you're grabbing!"

"Wow. You guys look a lot like those two on that board there," Lincoln smirked while motioning toward the board on the wall, that had a small set of pictures to act as reminders for nurses, so they know who was not supposed to be allowed here. As it turned out, they were the same reporter and camerawoman from over a week ago.

"Oh Lincoln… you're as sly as usual," Luan slapped a hand on her brother's back. They could see a few security guards beginning to approach them.

"I hate you two," the reporter groaned.

"I hate my job," the camerawoman added.

"Just vamoose, and stand clear of the real nurses," Lincoln smirked, the Loud siblings watching as security dragged them away.

"Ah, I love you, bro-bro… oh, which reminds me, I have good news. My first case is solved and closed," Luan happily declared as the two continued down the hall.

"That's great, Luan!" Lincoln cheered, "Did they give you a reward?"

"Just this," Luan reached into her pocket and pulled out an ancient ring with a small gem on it. "It's supposed to be some good luck charm that some tribe traded with each other to show good will or something."

Luan slipped the ring on her middle finger. Though she was not the biggest fan of jewelry, nor was she of history class, she accepted the reward, but paid no attention the context it had behind its creation and use. She knew she could not do everything for free, despite her desires.

"That's a lot for something so small, don't you think?" Lincoln quirked an eyebrow.

"History is priceless, Lincoln, and so is family," Luan reminded him. It would be a great reminder of her first case. When they arrived to the other room, however, Garett's room was empty and Parlezz was nowhere to be seen.

"Where'd they go…?" Luan chirped.

"Maybe they got discharged?" Lincoln suggested. He saw a janitor, who had just finished cleaning up, come out from the room's bathroom.

"Hey, excuse me. Do you know what happened to the patient here?" Luan wondered. The older cleaner scratched his head.

"They had to transfer the little guy to a more advanced hospital. He needed more treatment because he was risking renal failure," the janitor explained, to the best of his recollection of what he overheard from the doctors. Hearing that disheartened the two. The grateful charity hospital, the only hospital they knew that was more advanced, was deeper in the small city. Renal failure was essentially death. Without the kidneys it was bound to set in, with greater risk the longer the body was unable to do its processes naturally, dialysis could only substitute for the body for so long after all.

"What do you want to do, Luan?" Lincoln turned to her, "Wanna go back home?"

"No, Lincoln. Actually, I'm going to be a little… late," Luan sheepishly spoke.

"What do you mean 'late?' …Please don't tell me you're going to do what I think you're going to do," the Loud boy pleaded, seeing that nervous grin spread on her face.

"Sooo Lincoln… when you were born, the doctors were worried you'd need a blood transfusion… I can't remember why, exactly, but we all had our blood tested," the detectidian stated. It turned out that Lincoln was a universal receiver and Luan was a universal donor. No one had to donate blood, but it was still information that she kept in mind.

"Of course you're going to do this…" Lincoln held his head.

"Yeah! I wouldn't be a detectidian if I hadn't met those two… the only reason I didn't offer to donate one of my kidneys before, was because I figured it was under control," Luan admitted. She didn't realize how bad things had gotten for Parlezz's young boy, and extensively the small family itself. Luan shared a trait with the family that once she had her mind set on something, she rarely stopped. "I'm not 'kidneying' you little bro. But I need to ask you a teensy favor."

"Fine. What is it Luan?" her little brother sighed.

"I want you and your friends to take care of the detective business while I'm out of commission."


	7. The Second Case?

**Authors Note: I need to apologize to everyone, because things are getting quite crazy. I will be away a short time to handle them, because if I do not assort them now, they will bother me until next year. I apologize. Please take care and enjoy.**

* * *

 **"Luan is doing what?!"**

Lincoln groaned while holding his head sorely, not sure why he expected any other reaction from his Loud family. "I said Luan is at the grateful charity hospital. She's going to donate one of her kidneys to save a boys life."

"Can I just ask why none of you talk to us first before you do something? You act like we'd always say no," the mother of the Loud family, Rita, asked. Everyone looked unsure how to respond to that. It was true, but it might be because of the fear of getting an answer they disliked.

"Well this was more of an on the spot deal... We went to the hospital to visit her first clients to see how they were doing," Lincoln explained. He had the silver briefcase lying nearby. Luan had given him it after he promised to take care of the business while she was unable to.

"So what are we gonna do?" Lori asked, hoping for a clean straight answer from their parents.

"Luan's old enough to make this kind of choice on her own. All we can do is take care of her while she recovers. Come on, we should get going if we want to meet her at the hospital," Lynn Sr. declared, proud of his daughter for the kind act, but rather sick of not being able to go one week at least without some form of scare or another from his family.

"Alright! What are we wasting time here for?" Luna was more than in a hurry to make sure her sister would not be alone for this. Any operation, no matter how little the risk, was scary to imagine being alone through. Most of the family agreed and was about to go.

"You're not coming Lincoln?" Lana asked, noticing him staying seated on the couch.

"Sorry, but I promised Luan I'd handle the detective business… that and I'm kind of sick of being in hospitals so much. I'm worried I might get sick," Lincoln had everything he needed in this silver briefcase according to Luan, but what exactly all was in it was beyond her.

"Well… Do you mind watching Lily then? I'd like it if she was not around all those sick people too," Rita requested, coming over carrying Lily in her arms.

"Sure mom. I'd be glad to take care of her," Lincoln smiled and took Lily, who cooed out some random gibberish while hugging her brother and nuzzling into his chest. The young boy rubbed the infant's back, wondering why she was so clingy to him lately.

"Call us if something happens or if you need us, Lincy," Leni told their only brother.

"And please do not touch the bubbly pink serum in the locked glass case in my room… though I'd appreciate it immensely if you could check once in a while to make sure it is safe," Lisa requested.

"Of course, I promise," Lincoln nodded. Whatever this odd serum was, Lincoln knew that if it was an invention of Lisa's, then it was either dangerous or at least unsafe.

"You better be good for him Lily," Luna rubbed her baby sister's head. The rocker Loud had a very close relationship with Lily, as she had taken care of her the most out of the family.

"Lucy already got the best seat!" Lola called out, and just like that the other siblings quickly bid goodbye to their brother and baby sister, before darting out the door in a hurry to try and get the best seats left in Vanzilla.

"Call us if you need anything, Lincoln," Lynn Sr. said.

"Be good, sweetheart!" Rita added. Lincoln watched them leave, the door closing behind them. He let out a sigh of relief.

"Man, Lily, I was worried they'd take that news a lot worse," the preteen boy told his baby sister. He saw Luan's generosity as a great thing, instead of the fact it was somewhat ridiculous, based on how it was done by mostly impulse. The young boy kept Lily in his arms as he went off upstairs, leaving the silver briefcase behind as he went to Luan and Luna's room.

"Good thing her computer isn't password protected… I don't think it'd be a good thing for business if I couldn't even see the messages asking for help," Lincoln chuckled, resting Lily down. He opened the laptop, while his baby sister went over to play with Luna's guitar that she often left out. The young detective ignored the twanging noises. Lily's laughter was more than enough for him to not care and turn a blind eye.

"Oh… That's a great start…" Lincoln's eyes widened when he saw several emails, all of them requesting help from the detectives. He had forgotten that Luan's efforts at helping the Arnult family had gained her a small section of the most recent newspapers. More had learnt of the newfound detective due to this. The young boy was glad to know the main website advertised all four of the detectives and their ability to help those in need, though it was obvious most were requesting Luan to help specifically.

"Well I guess I'll click one at random, and whatever it is, I'll take it," Lincoln closed his eyes and spun the USB mouse that the laptop had hooked up beside it. He then clicked to see the result.

 ** _"Hey, detectives. I'm not going to beat around the bush. I'm Danata, a regular man studying law so I can become a defense attorney. Here's the short of it; I have money and I presume you got the brains. Long story short, it's nothing but shady. I haven't seen anything this shady since I went to a moonlight party during a lunar eclipse! Meet me at my crib. It's on that off the road path on the 12th Majesty's Boulevard. I'll explain more there."_**

"Well… that Boulevard name does not settle well with me at all, for some reason… Well, I can't wait on this one. If there's one thing I've learnt, someone studying to be a lawyer is sometimes scarier than someone that already IS a lawyer," Lincoln spoke aloud, closing the laptop and leaning back in the chair. Someway, somehow, the law student would make his life miserable, or at least his newfound semi-job hobby, if he made him wait too long.

"Lily, you ready to go out into town with me-…" Lincoln buried his face into the palms of his hands upon seeing Lily seated by Luna's guitar, all of the strings broken, the baby Loud laughing upon seeing her brother's flabbergasted face.

"…After I restring and retune Luna's guitar... You're lucky I love you."

* * *

Ronnie Anne was outside of a small grocery store, seated in front of it and eating a cookie, the box of several more resting beside her. She waited long for her only brother, Bobby, to meet up with her, but he seemed to instead be working one of his many multiple jobs longer than he told her he would, as he did each week.

"You were supposed to be off an hour ago, Bobby…" the Santiago girl murmured to herself, "I dunno why I bother believing anything he says. Him and his dozen of jobs…"

She soon heard a ringtone sound from her pocket that shattered her train of thought.

"Huh?... I swear he has a sensor that tells him whenever I'm feeling down," Ronnie Anne took her cellphone out of her pocket, recognizing the sound as Lincoln's ringtone. A rather calm and upbeat tune, she could always relax when hearing it.

"Hey, Lincoln. How goes it?" Ronnie Anne leaned back against the brick wall behind her. Her skateboard was right beside her with her helmet resting on top of it.

"Hi, Ronnie Anne, are you busy right now?" Lincoln chimed up. The sound of the occasional guitar twang sounded from doing the last of the tuning on Luna's guitar. Thankfully it did not take nearly as long as he thought it would. His older sister had taught him how to take care of an instrument well.

"I was supposed to go get pizza with Bobby since Lori canceled her plans with him… But I think he's bummed out again and working overtime because of it," Ronnie Anne answered. It was either that or his boss was being merciless. Somehow imagining that being the possibility made her feel bad.

"Sorry about that… hey, how about we get some pizza after we solve our first case… Or our business's second case," Lincoln offered to his girlfriend. With Luan out of commission, they were the primary go to detectives for anyone requesting help.

"Let me think about that," the Ronnie Anne girl looked down to her exposed detective badge attached to her upper forearm right on her shoulder. It shimmered a little in the sunlight from the clear blue sky.

"I'd really like some help on this. Clyde can't come because he has to study for that makeup test tomorrow, and… "

"Haha! Lame-o, I was just pulling your leg. I'd love to! Put on your roller-skates. I'll be there in ten minutes," Ronnie Anne hung up. She stood up, grabbed her skateboard and helmet, and she quickly put it on her head. She jumped onto her board and skated off to get to her boyfriend's residence.

* * *

"Wait, my roller-skates? What? Ronnie Anne?" Lincoln heard no response from his phone beyond the dial tone. He hated to imagine what she had in mind, but he had a good idea what. He looked over to see Lily playing with one of Luan's many rubber chicken props.

"I think we're going to need your carrier Lily. Don't worry though. Ronnie Anne will keep us safe from any scary lawyers," Lincoln picked up the infant Loud, she giggled when feeling her only brother tickle her.

"Ababa gahra," Lily cooed. The young boy smiled as he carried her downstairs. He had to get them both ready for this case. They could go tell Luan all about it themselves after they handled it.

* * *

After a few minutes, Lincoln stood outside with the silver briefcase in his hands containing the many detectives' tools. Lily was in a baby carrier strapped onto her brother's chest, playing with his hands. Lincoln also had roller-skates attached to his feet. They belonged to Lynn, but he knew she wouldn't care that he borrowed them.

"I hope Ronnie Anne's gentler then she was the last time she did this," he mused. He then saw a familiar figure coming from down the sidewalk.

"There she is! Get ready, Lily," Lincoln pulled out a pair of helmets, putting one on his head before putting the smaller one on Lily's and strapping it onto her, to make sure it stayed on without any risk of falling off. The young boy extended his hand out.

"Whoa!" He was grabbed and yanked along by the fast blur that was his girlfriend. The wheels beneath Lincoln's feet instantly let him be pulled along with ease.

"Hey there, Lame-o. Sorry if I made you wait long," Ronnie Anne greeted her boyfriend, he was holding onto her wrist with both hands tightly. Even if he had done this before, that did not make it any less terrifying.

"He-hey, Ronnie Anne! I hope you don't mind a little extra company coming with us," Lincoln apologized. Ronnie Anne looked to the laughing Lily strapped to his chest. The baby girl was enjoying the high speed skating through the streets.

"Well, she's a good kid, so I don't mind," Ronnie Anne reassured. She would say no instantly to anyone else's baby, but she knew Lily well enough to know Lincoln could handle her well. Ronnie Anne grabbed onto the side of a street lamp to make a sharp turn around. "So, Lame-o, where's our client?"

Her secret boyfriend suspected she was trying to make him feel nauseous. He had withstood worse from his sisters. He was glad this was making Lily happy, at least.

"There a bit more into town, but uh they're a law student so I don't exactly know what to expect," Lincoln stated, hopeless that this person would turn out to be kind in any way, shape or form.

"Lame-o… I don't know why I had a strong hunch this case would not be easy, but I think as long as we stick together, we'll be fine, especially with little Lily there helping us," Ronnie Anne gave a confident smile. Nearly everything involving the Loud family was rather crazy, and judging from what she heard about Luan's first case, the odd trait would not change anytime soon.

"Haha… yeah, who knows? Maybe we can learn some stuff from this Danata guy, too," Lincoln joked.

"Please don't get any ideas," his girlfriend found it not so funny.

"Aw, come on, Ronnie Anne. Wouldn't it be sooooo interesting to learn the law? It might come in handy when we're like sixty, and most of it's changed. Maybe that could be our payment for the job?" He continued as they hopped a curb to change to another sidewalk, dodging a few people along the way.

"Lincoln, I love you, but I swear I will dunk you in a trash can if you ask for ANY lessons at all!"


	8. QUIT

**This is just an authors chapter, I'm just, this community is a lot more horrid then I even ever thought I could know...Came back to a million messages about a guardian louds ripoff, don't knw oif it's true don't care to investigate. All I can say is I quit.**


	9. FOLLOW UP SITUATION

**Uhhgg...I look every day and things get worse and worse it seems. I wanted to fade away silently, but I have to explain things or else others suffer. that's noe thing I dispise imagining me causing others to suffer.**

 **Why I quit: I felt like a failure, an unfulfilled idiot wasting his time when people only wanted glorified torture porn. Hence the no such luck situation where the archive is flooded with nothing BUT that...**

 **The Guardian Louds ripoff scandal?: I'm just, I'm just going to say it outright. Everyone of these 99 messages in my PM box, I can't respond to them. Because they're all about two other sentai/kamen rider inspired fics that are made. Look, I shouldn't have to say this, but, let me say it because it upsets me immensely.**

 **What did I say at the end of both of my stories? That they're open for anyone to touch upon and have fun and do with as long as they credit the original source, and it would be up to the readers if it was canon or not.**

 **Blunt translation in response of the ripoff claims: Stop being idiotic. Because everyone is free to do what they want, and before anyone gets more confused there are two other fics that are doing their own thing, nowhere near related to guardian louds just inspired by sentai or kamen rider, who have been bothered quite heavily over it. Criticism is fine and understandable, but if you're basing your opinion off others opinions, you're horrible. You need to reach your own conclusion.**

 **The major toxicity of the community: There isn't much, the only toxicity that I actually saw, or ever encountered, was from the loud house wikia, those people were insufferable monsters who hid behind each other when I tried to criticize them...They were my friends at first, but they all fell fast and I realized I was a failure in the end.**

 **The aftermath: There are many who have been inspired by my stories, and I cry knowing that I've made so many happy and could entertain people. I updated so often so the people coming home from school could have something to relax and read when they got back from a long day, I was even happier to know I achieved that. Those that I've inspired are making stories of their own, and I've given my advice to as many as I've met and talked to. And I'm glad to know people will enjoy my stories well long after I'm gone. But, I'm not going to come back. Those people at TLH wikia were an eye opener, that I joined a rather internally toxic community.**

 **A lesson: You can't be 100% positive, or 100% negative. You can't put criticism just as 'you suck' or anything one worded and emotionless. You need to take the bad and good and work off them. And I worked to death to do that, and conversed with every critique I somewhat did not understand (or did not agree with.) And yes I'm aware Weeb that's a sheep was insulting me on his profile for questioning his review, that still doesn't justify calling another kamen rider/super sentai inspired story a ripoff.**

 **The community: This is the best community I've seen, the toxicity does not exist between the authors, rather it exists between the FANS of said authors. And I feel terrible that my 'fans' if I can refer to them as that, attacked like someone had sent me a death threat over my preferences for my writings. (Though some have sent me threatening messages but that became normal.)**

 **As I've said and will always say, I hope you all enjoy. Take care!**


	10. My Story

**Every time I think I've said everything and can just leave, I can't. Because I have to state something each time this happens, mainly due to the fact my 'fans' are causing the suffering of others evidently.**

 **Look I'm going to try and make this short, but perhaps if I tell you my story that would help?**

 **I hail from Algeria, Arabic is my first language. My father raised me and my brother in a family that did not believe in the status quo that is occurring in my home country. Mainly the poor treatment and lack of equality, a lot of other men did not like us for our views and were seeming to grow hostile farther and farther with each day. Our parents scraped together money and let me and my brother come to america. Where we spent a good few months working hard to get settled.**

 **I was taking a free english class at a community college, but while I was in the hospital I saw a show on the TV, The Loud House. It was the first show I watched without subtitles for my native tongue, and I enjoyed it a lot. So I began to write a brothers debt, it got overwhelming support, my teacher was happy to see me writing as well because it helped my english improve immensely. I never expected to grow to the size I did, in such a short time. Under a year. Ever since I first came to america things have been great, and if it wasn't for the show or this website, or all those that supported me, I probably would be just another glorified fool that only learnt the minimal amount of english. In trade for that help, I gave two stories that people seem happy about.**

 **That is my story, it is just me my pets and my brother. We do not have any real desire or hope to get back to our home country.**

 **I tell you all about my life, because I've only told a few about it. I've unblocked everyone on my blocked list (only 4 but thats 4 too many still.) That I assumed were just trying to get under my skin, I was wrong (at least for 2 of them.) Now those two are under attack for their past views.**

 **Look I hate saying this over and over, but let people write what they want to write. If they want to write torture porn? Fine, go ahead. If they want to write sex, incest, drama? Alright. If they want to write about things INSPIRED by other franchises, let them. We're supposed to help each other grow and develop not shrink and wither.**

 **Any Kamen-Rider/Super Sentai inspired story brings a fresh air of drama and light hearted action to the website that is ever so needed. Give those people working hard honest constructive criticism.**

 **Though I must confess, I am mainly making this because of all the PMs I received. (Several being death threats toward me, for quitting writing.) Whatever conclusion people reach is fine, and it depresses me to know I have to even say half of this.**

 **I hope you all enjoy, and take care. Thank you for everything.**


End file.
